Island of Dreams?
by edelweiss123
Summary: A dead and bored Itachi gains the power of Narration and decides to have a little fun messing with all of our favorite characters: NaruSakuSandSibsLeeNejiTenKibaHinaShinoInoShikaChoDeiSasoItaKisaandpossiblyTaka WARNING! Crack-tastic OOCness likely!
1. Boredom

"Hmm..." Itachi scratched his forehead as he looked out over the endless expanse of fluffy whiteness. He was currently reclining against a cloud, ankles crossed and dangling over the edge of his heavenly perch. He sighed and put his hands behind his head, closing his eyes.

**Death boring ya, huh?**

His eyes flashed open in startlement. _Damn, the voices are back again. Oh well, i'd better answer..._

"Why yes, it is, actually. Although, it _does _give me time to contemplate the fact that my entire existence was contrived by the mind of another for the sole purpose of being an antagonist to my equally-fictional younger brother and his friend, that I have no real free-will, and that everything I am saying now is not really of my own mind but transcribed by someone else to fit within certain parameters that they believe my created personality would allow. Also, I am slightly perturbed to know that I exist in no real state other than on paper or some other equally two-dimensional medium, other than of course the countless number of "real people" with "real lives" who parade around in a semblance of myself in "cosplay", not to mention the new mental scars I have after finding the horrifying masses of "fanfictions" describing myself as having intimate relations with--"

**ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! YEESH... I get it, you're upset. I suppose I would be too, in your shoes.**

"Why would you come to the conclusion that my shoes would be a source of discomfort for you? And who, may I ask, _are_ you?"

**Errrr... nevermind about the shoes, it's an idiom.**

"A what?"

**You know, an idiom. Like, 'the pot calling the kettle black', or, 'a wolf in sheep's clothing'.**

"First of all, pots and kettles are inanimate objects; therefore they are incapable of having a conversation. Also, I was under the distinct impression that wolves and sheep prefer nudity."

**...right...... so... anyways, let me go ahead and introduce myself: I am the narrator.**

"Narrator? So you are in charge of the flow of events and conversation?"

**Pretty much.**

"What do you want with me, then?"

**Well, Itachi, just as you are bored sitting around here in death, I am also bored sitting around procrastinating doing my homework. We're in very similar situations, you see...**

"And?"

**And, well, I thought you might want to join me as I have a little bit of fun.**

"Hmm... I'm not very familiar with fun... except at the expense of others, of course..."

**Well perfect! That's just the type of fun I had in mind! Of course, all of these 'others' we will be having fun at the expense of (did that even make any sense?) will have to come from the Naruto-verse...**

"Very well then, although if you would refrain from calling it that, it would be much appreciated."

**You don't have to talk like that, you know...**

"Well, obviously, I do, since you are the one dictating what I say, and this must be how you perceive I speak."

**Touche. Here, i'll fix it a little:**

"Thanks. It's nice to not sound like a frickin' prince every once and awhile." He took a bite out of the bagel he just realized he had.

**See, my omnipotent Narrator powers aren't all evil! Now, I had a few ideas in mind, so just listen closely and i'll tell you what to do:**

"Y'know, I bet i'm not supposed to like people telling me what to do... it seems... 'out-of-character'..."

**That's fine! (In fact, quite a bit of this story will be OOC, as well as crackish... fufufu...) Anywho, here's the plan...**

And so, as the creepy voice from nowhere whispered its evil designs into the ear of Itachi, an equally creepy smile began to spread across his face.


	2. The Game Begins

**Alright, so you know the plan?**

"Hn."

**Good. Then let's get started. First, let me loan you some of my Narrator powers of omniscience; it'll make things easier on us both.**

Woah. This feels... quite odd. Is it alright that I can't see my hands?

**Ehh... probably. **

Are you sure? I feel kind of... spacey, and spread out... and _tingly..._

**It's nothing to worry about. Just try to focus on the task at hand. **

Right... So... how do we make this happen?

**We're going to immerse ourselves into the Naruto-ve... I mean, the place-from-whence-you-came, in order to directly influence the situation we're creating. Our voices will have to be muffled so we don't freak anyone out. though. **

Muffled?

_**(Like this. Only you and I can hear ourselves now.)**_

_(Ah. I see. Proceed.)_

_**(Remember, don't over-gratuitously use your powers, just stick to the plan. Also, keep in mind that you're omniscient now: you **_**will**_** hear and see strange things, and time-continuity and common sense are sometimes absent. Ready?)**_

_(I suppose... let's get this going then.)_

_**(Alright, let's take the plunge!)**_

~o0o~

Birds were chirping, children were laughing in the background, puppies were playing with kittens and a mysterious wind blew mysterious flower petals across the screen during the brief aerial shot of the entire hidden village. Uzumaki Naruto was, as usual, making his merry way down the happy streets of Konoha towards his favorite ramen stand, thinking cheerful thoughts.

_Gee, I hope Kakashi-sensei will show me that new jutsu later, I bet it's awesome! Maybe I can even impress Sakura-chan with it..._

He let his thoughts trail off pleasantly, grinning his foxy grin.

_(Ugh, dear God, is _this_ kind of syrupy nonsense going to be described often? I know I have a sweet tooth and all, but this is a little much... )_

_**(Oh, only when appropriate. Besides, it's not so bad: )**_

Naruto, now skipping with glee, nearly missed the 5000-ryo note laying on the ground.

_Gasp! That's a lot of money! I wish I could keep it, but alas, it does not belong to me! I will find its rightful owner immediately!_

_(I think I might be sick... *gags*)_

_**(Ehh, yeah, maybe it is a wee bit thick. Sorry, I didn't know you were so fluff-intolerant. I'll try to tone it down a bit.)**_

_(...ew....)_

_**(What?)**_

_(Let's just say I learned that bagels are only good the first time around. Also, i'm going to need a change of cloak.)_

_**(...ew... well, we'll have to worry about that later. Just hurry up so we can get out of here.)**_

_(I'm on it...)_

Having donated the money to the little old lady who ran the local rabbit orphanage, Naruto was well on his way to Ichiraku when a black-nailed hand shot out of the unusually dark alley he was passing.

"C'mere, you.." the voice belonging to the hand said as it grabbed him by the collar and pulled him into the dark. And poor Naruto didn't even have time to 'bunshin before he was gone.

~o0o~

"RAPE!!!" Naruto screamed to the air. He blinked. Gone were the bustling streets of Konoha, replaced by sandy beaches, palm trees, and quiet. Perplexingly, he was now standing alone on what appeared to be an island, surrounded by ocean as far as he could see. He scratched his head, his sharp shinobi mind assessing his current situation.

His stomach grumbled.

"Ehh, i'm hungry..." he shrugged as he sauntered off, in search of food.

~o0o~

Haruno Sakura, done showering, was just toweling herself dry when she heard a knock at her bedroom door.

"Just a sec, mom!" Thinking that it was indeed only her mother (who else would it be?), Sakura proceeded to open her door in only her bathrobe.

"What did you-" She blinked and her room was gone.

~o0o~

She blinked again and saw the ocean.

"...need?" She started trembling as she pulled her light pink cotton robe tight against her, realizing that she now had no idea where she was or how she got there.

_This was not happening. This was not happening. This was just an illusion, right? Just some weird Genjutse she had been pulled into_...

"Kai!" She shouted as she clapped her hands together in a seal, trying to dispel the illusion. But apparently, that only made it worse.

"Sakura-chan!" She flinched slightly at that oh-so-recognizable voice, squeezing her eyes shut and focusing her chakra.

_Not happening. Not happening. Not happening._

"When did you get here? Are you stuck here too!?" She could hear him moving closer...

_-_

"Phew! I sure am glad I found you! I was beginning to think I was alone on this island..." Her eyes snapped open and she glared at him.

Stranded. On an island. In her bathrobe. With _Naruto..._

"Hey, um, Sakura-chan..." he trailed off, blushing as his eyes made a quick sweep of her body.

She snapped.

"...why," he began, but he was cut off as she grabbed him by his shoulders and shook.

"NO, NO, NO, NO, AND NO!!! THIS IS _NOT_ HAPPENING, THIS IS ALL A _FAKE, _IT'S NOT _REAL_! THIS WHOLE PLACE IS AN _ILLUSION_- _YOU'RE _AN ILLUSION!!!" She stopped throttling him and started to pace nervously in the sand.

"...um... so i'm-this," he waved his hands around, "is all an illusion? Really... huh. Well, _I _don't think i'm an illusion..." He was pretty sure anyway, but he was a little worried that it might be true. How was _he_ supposed toknow if he were an illusion or not? Either way, he'd just feel normal, right? This kind of thinking made his head hurt. A lot. So, he stopped worrying about it and went back to his food.

Sakura paused at his statement: it _did_ sound like something he would say... but if he _was_ an illusion, that's just what he'd want her to think, isn't it? Ha_ha_! Couldn't fool her! She smiled at her own cunning.

So, then: if she couldn't break the genjutsu herself, then she didn't have many options. Only one, really. She'd just have to wait until someone found her and helped her out of it... so was her body still in her room then? Her practically _naked_ body? Prone and exposed to whoever had thrown her into this nightmare? She groaned and rubbed her temples as she tried not to imagine what could be happening to her at this very moment, or where they could have taken her...

"Um... Sakura-chan... are you okay? You're acting a little funny..." she sighed as she turned to look at his worried frown.

Really, she supposed, as far as nightmarish genjutsu scenarios went, it could have been a lot worse. At least she wasn't suffering or anything...yet. And she wasn't alone... even if this friend was a fake. She smiled slightly and nodded.

He returned her slight smile with a beaming grin as he thrust a coconut towards her. "Hungry?"

She was still a little wary, but what the heck? She took it from him. "Thanks."

So there they sat, both a little shaken and perplexed, eating possibly illusionary coconuts on a beach that may or may not be real. It was a little weird, definitely surreal, but also kind of relaxing. Until he had to ruin it by opening his mouth.

"So... Sakura-chan..." he started shifting closer to her, face slightly reddened. "...if this is all an illusion... then maybe we could-"

CONK!

He scooted away quickly, nursing the growing knot on his skull.

She sighed again. _Gods, I hope someone finds me soon..._


	3. One Eyebrow, Two Dinners, Three Chapters

**A/N **- Hello people, I just have a few things to say:

First of all, I would like to thank you for taking the time to read my story: the hits are much appreciated! And, because I am desperate, PLEASE take the time to review if you liked what you read... or even if you didn't like it. Advice, praise, criticism, random comments... all are welcome. I just wanna hear some feedback, people!

Secondly, about the story: This is just a random idea I thought of whilst reading other crackfics (and... avoiding my homework...) mostly because I was sad that so many of our favorite characters never get to interact anymore (also, why would Itachi want to stop manipulating people just because he's dead? I mean, he's not my very favorite character, but I started to like him better after the whole "I'm-not-really-an-evil-psychotic-bastard" thing...)

Thirdly, I am mainly doing this for my own entertainment, but I hoped it'd be funny to other people too. So if you have any suggestions for things or situations you'd like to see happen, let me know. Later on, I might even take polls.

Well, that's all I have to say about that. - FG

**DISCLAIMER!!!:** Do I really even have to say it? Naruto belongs to no one but Kishi... = (

~o0o~

"Tee-hee! This is so much more fun than Tsyukiyomi!" Itachi giggled as he stalked another unsuspecting Leaf-nin.

_**(....*shudders*... creepy...)**_

Rock Lee was, of course, oblivious to the creepy giggles or his stalker, as he was busy stalking himself.

_Hmm... where could my precious flower of springtime have gone? I must-!_

And... yeah. You get it. He was Itachi-napped from Konoha.

~o0o~

"Soooo.... Neji..." Tenten was sliding to the other side of the ten-seater booth at T.G.I. Friday's that her "date" had insisted on getting. "What _else_ can you see through with your Byakugan...?"

"Tch, this scam of a deal, that's what!" he scoffed, slapping the menu he was holding. "I mean, look! For 14.95 you can get a drink, 2 sides, one of the crap-entrees and a dessert, but if you were to choose the mini-burgers, you could get it all for only 14.75 without the deal! Do they think we're stupid?"

_Grrr_... "Ahehe... nope, nope, you're a genius alright, Neji..." she slowly picked up a potato skin from the platter in front of him.

"That's what I keep _telling_ people! It should be-_meep_!" You'd think with 359 degree vision that Neji would've seen Tenten slip her arm around the back of his seat, but ignoring Tenten was just one of his many talents.

He fell off the edge of the booth as Tenten scooted to where he had been sitting and leaned over him. She took a slow (sexy?) bite of the potato skin and chewed it. Slowly.

"Mmmmm...." she sighed loudly.

"Uhhhhhmmmm......" Neji was a little weirded out. But just then, their waitress came with their drinks.

_Aha! Yes! Thank you, destiny! You never fail me!_

"Here you are! Enjoy!" Her black nails clinked against the glasses as she set down Neji's root beer float and Tenten's Dr. Pepper.

"Thank you, kind lady." Neji said as he sat back in his seat. Tenten had gone back to the other side of the booth, dejected.

"No problem!" The waitress flipped back her ponytail as she turned to leave.

Neji and Tenten spent the next two minutes staring into their glasses, taking occasional sips. Finally, he broke the silence.

"Hey, um, Tenten..."

"YES!?!"

"When do you think Lee And Gai-sensei will show up? You_... did_ tell them where we were going, right...?"

"Of _COURSE_...I ....did...."

SLUMP.

Both of their heads hit the table as they fell unconcious.

~o0o~

"I am... The Kazekage." An impassive face stared back at Gaara from the bathroom mirror.

"Hmm..." His eyes narrowed as he scratched his chin in thought. Suddenly he squared up his shoulders and gripped the sink with both hands.

"Do you even know who I am...?" He loomed over his reflection as he leaned closer, brow furrowing.

"I'm the _Kazekage,_ bitch!" he stared angrily at himself for a moment.

"No, no, still no..." he folded his arms across his chest and leaned against the wall opposite the mirror, looking at it from the corner of his eye.

"Who, me? Sabaku no Gaara. I'm the Kazekage around here. Welcome to Suna." He held out his hand to his reflection.

"Definitely... not." He dropped his hand and scowled, picking up his toothbrush. After he was done brushing his teeth, he got a glass of water and held it stylishly in one hand.

"Kage," he took a light sip. "_Kaze_kage." His reflection stared back snootily. He growled, crushing the paper cup in his hand.

"I just don't get it!" he grumbled, staring at his face in the mirror. He'd been trying to perfect his 'Kage' attitude for weeks. People, according to one of the therapy books his siblings had made him read, are able to interact with others better if they show emotions. And have a personality. He wasn't exactly sure why this was, but supposed it would at least be more convenient than people constantly asking him how he was feeling. But it was proving rather difficult to learn.

"Something's...._missing_..." he couldn't put his finger on it, but there was just _something_ about his face that didn't show emotion well...

His gaze drifted towards Temari's eyeliner laying on the vanity. And then, inspiration struck.

"EYEBROWS!" He snatched up the pencil and held it to his face, poised an inch above his eye. He braced himself, putting slight pressure on the skin as he prepared to draw it across-

"KAZEKAGE-SAMA!!!" He flinched and dropped the pencil down the sink. _Damn._ He threw open the bathroom door and yelled at the interfering messenger.

"WHAT!?!"

"Umm... Kazekage-sama... you..." Gaara was still not good at reading emotions, but he thought the messenger looked...amused? No matter.

"What." He repeated flatly.

"Err, right.... sir , you have a visitor in your office. Also, Temari-san told me to give to this note." He handed Gaara a piece of paper.

_"Remember, Gaara, tonight is _your_ night to do the dishes, so you need to actually come home for dinner... and don't even try to get out of it with that "but i'm busy running a country" bull again. We all have lives, dammit, and you need to start pulling your weight in this household! Also, have you seen my eyeliner? I haven't been able to find it in any of the usual places... XOXOXO Luv ya, Otoutou!"_

He sighed and slipped the note into his robes. "Very well then, you are dismissed." He turned to head to his office.

"Ummm.... sir..."

"Did you forget something?" Gaara raised his one, sloppily drawn eyebrow.

"Err.... no. Nevermind." The messenger poofed away before he could be Sousou'd.

"Huh" He shrugged and walked down the hall to his office. He turned the handle and peered inside.

"Hello?" And then he was gone.

~o0o~

_'Aww... Skitty appeared to be caught!'_

"Dammit!" Kankuro cried as he threw his DS to the ground in frustration. Life is never fair to the middle child, according to them.

"KANKURO!" Temari yelled from the other room.

"WHAT?" he yelped, holding back tears.

"Stop playing with your puppets or gameboy or whatever and come help me with dinner!" She appeared in the hallway, wearing an apron.

_So _that's _what that smell was... _"Yeah, yeah, i'm coming..." he slumped and followed her into the kitchen. She led him toward the oven.

"See, when the chicken is done," she told him, opening the oven, "you'll know because the fat will appear-"

They yelped as two hands shot out and pulled them inside.


	4. Coconuts on the Beach

_**(Ummm.....)**_

Itachi was sprawled out on the Sand sib's couch, eating Gaara's secret stash of cookies and playing on Kankuro's DS.

_'Wild Ninetails Appeared!_' Itachi choked and spit cookie bits everywhere.

"GAAaAaaaAHHH!!! MUST......CATCH........!" He curled into a ball on the couch, face an inch away from the screen, pushing buttons franctically.

_**(Heeeey, Itachi.....?)**_

"So......close......MMPH! ONLY 3 ULTRA-BALLS LEFT.....!?!"

**ITACHI!**

"WHUH?!" He flinched and dropped the game, and with a giant poof disappeared from the Sabaku's living room.

_( *pant* *pant* ....what? *looks around* .........why...? Why? Why did you stop me...? I.... I was so close...! Do you know how long i've...! *sniffle* ............)_

_**(Errr.... there, there, it's.... alright... *pats on back* It was just a game, it wasn't real.....)**_

_(Tch! How is THAT supposed to make me feel better.... I'M not real EITHER, remember??? And GET your hands offa me! I don't need your sympathy......)_

_**(Err... my bad.)**_

_(*sniff* It's....it's fine. Old habits die hard, I suppose........ *sulking* )_

_**( *sigh* Heeeeeey.... i've bet **_**i've**_** got something that can cheer you up! Here, catch! *throws bundle of clothing* )**_

_( *catches* ...what....OH! FINALLY! *shrugs off pukey Akatsuki outfit* Good timing.... _those_ were starting to dissolve....)_

_**(So.... do you like it?)**_

_( *puts on new outfit* ....well.... this is certainly.... a change.... very... traditional, I suppose...)_

_**(Put in the hair pieces, too!)**_

_(What are they for, anyway?)_

_**(I'm not completely sure... I don't think anyone knows, actually.)**_

_(And... why is there a '6' kanji on the back?)_

_**(Does it matter?)**_

_(No.... not really. Where did you get this, anyway?)_

_**(Ummm...)**_

~o0o~

Many, many miles and several dimensions away, Kuchiki Byakuya froze as he opened his closet. His _empty_ closet.

".....again.....?" He sighed. "Dammit, Renji....."

~o0o~

The sun was blindingly bright as Hyuuga Neji cracked open his sleep-crusted eyes.

"Where.....what....?" He squinted confusedly at the sky. As his sight was adjusting his mind began to take notice of his surroundings. He could hear the ocean nearby, feel the breeze on his face and the sand beneath him. He could also feel a warm, heavy weight planted on top of his chest.

He tried to remember what had happened right before he fell unconcious.... and when he did, his stomach tensed.

"....Tenten....?" He propped himself up on his elbows to see Rock Lee curled across his body.

Several feet away, Tenten jumped awake as a bloodcurdling scream rent the air.

~o0o~

"AIEEEEEEE!!!" Naruto and Sakura jumped and dropped their coconuts, heads turning towards the source of the scream.

"S-Sakura....who....what was that?" Naruto had that panicky expression on his face that often preceded his latching on to the nearest living thing for comfort. She wisely stepped away.

"How should I know? We'll just have to check it out." This whole thing was just an illusion, after all. So even if she met up with something dangerous, she wouldn't really be in any danger. Right? Well.... if not, then at least she'd be safe when she woke up. Right?

Naruto gave her a small shaky nod and they took off running towards the source of the scream. Soon, they could see three figures in the distance. Naruto gasped.

"Bushy-brows!" He shouted with glee, running towards him, apparently oblivious to the fact that said man was currently busy being throttled by Neji.

Neji looked up at their approach and quickly released his hold on his teammate. Lee fell to the ground with a soft thud. Neji crossed his arms and formally nodded to the two, as calm as is if, no, he had _not_ just been trying to murder the boy with the bowlcut.

"Oi......Naruto....." Lee twitched. Tenten laughed nervously.

"Eh...hehe...hey, guys. What's going on?"

"Oh, hi, 'Tenten'. 'Naruto' and I were just 'eating coconuts' on the beach. We heard someone scream and came to see what was happening. So, what happened?" Sakura seemed a little twitchy. It scared the other girl a little.

Sakura of course, was implying quotes in her words because she didn't believe any of this was real. Tenten however, perv that she was, came to the wrong conclusion.

_Wait......eating coconuts on the beach with Naruto...."eating coconuts" on the beach...... with Naruto.........."eating _coconuts_"........*gasp!* Oh. My. God._

Sakura was more than a little disturbed by the look Tenten was giving her.

"Oh, nothing happened. It was just Neji overreacting, as usual." Tenten was staring at her. Then she _winked_. Sakura felt a shiver slide up her spine.

"I do not _overreact,_ I react," Neji sniffed.

"Wait.......what?" This made no sense to Naruto. It didn't make sense to the rest of them, either, but they had learned by now that if Neji believed something about himself, it was pretty pointless to tell him otherwise.

"Aaaaannnyways......," Sakura shook her head to get rid of the stupid, "so what do we do now?"

"Whatever do you mean, Sakura-san?!?" Lee jumped up from the sand and got right in her face as he asked his question in what was apparently the only volume setting he had.

Backing away slowly, she elaborated. "Well, as far as I can tell, we're on an island...or maybe just a beach, but either way, we don't know where we are, or how we got here, so we're kind of stuck..."

"Mmmmmm....." Neji switched on his Byakugan and turned in a circle. "Hm. Definitely an island."

"So then, what should we do?" Lee repeated.

"Well, we should focus on first, constructing some type of shelter in the event of needing shelter. Then, we should split up into groups and scout the island, to assess any potential threats or means of escape. Also, we should blah blah blah blah....."

Sakura shrugged after a minute of ignoring Neji's ramblings. "Well, in any case, this is all an illusion, so I suppose it doesn't really matter. I'm going to go tan." Sakura declared and skipped down the beach to find a good patch of rock to lay down on.

"Errr......" Lee gave Naruto a confused look.

'Ehh, i'm not sure either. It's probably not true, though. Hey, you hungry?" Naruto started walking in the opposite direction of Sakura.

"Um, yes, but-wait! Naruto! What do you mean 'probably'?!" Lee ran after him.

"Of course, before we even _think_ about deciding on the design for the tiger pit, we need to-hey!" Neji noticed that he was now alone, except for Tenten. Which was the same as being alone.

"Where did they go/" He asked, while not quite looking at her.

"Hmmm, I dunno.... maybe they went ahead and started preparing....erm.....shelter?" She thought that was something he'd said.

"Perhaps....." he mused, staring off into the distance.

After a minute or two of extremely awkward silence, Tenten casually put her hand on Neji's shoulder.

"Soooooo.... Neji......wanna go 'eat some coconuts?' "

"That seems agreeable. I never did get my fried green beans..." If he noticed her creepy open-mouth grin as they walked into the cluster of trees, he didn't say anything.

~o0o~

**A/N - Just in case there was any confusion, that was a Bleach reference at the beginning. And a pokemon reference (there was one in chapter 3, too.... and yes, there is a pokemon called 'ninetails'; it's one of the originals.)**


	5. Sand is Sand

Whilst the Leaf gang were splitting up-

_(much in the same fashion as "Scooby-Doo")_

_**(Errr....right.... so, anyways...)**_

The Leaf peoples had-

_(No! Really! The similarities are uncanny! The two idiots, Naruto and Lee (or, Scooby and Shaggy) took off in search of food....)_

_**(Uh-huh, but-)**_

_(And the annoying know-it-all whose safety no one seems concerned about, Sakura/Velma, left to do her own thing...)_

_**(What on **_**earth**_** does this have to do with-)**_

_(And the pretty-boy self-declared leader of the group Neji/Fred, has paired off with the hot chick who doesn't really do much (except try to get into his pants,) Tenten/Daphne..... )_

_**( *sigh*...... are you done?)**_

_(AND they are all trying to figure out the 'mystery' of how they got stuck on this island.)_

_**(Well.... as **_**fascinating**_** as that was, it really has nothing to do with the story, so can we please just-)**_

_(But you do have to admit that the two groups have parallels.)_

_**(I....if you stretch it enough, I....guess they do, but again: This has. No point.)**_

_(Oh, I know. I just like Scooby-Doo. It was my favorite show as a child.)_

_**(Ah, okay....wait, weren't you a ninja since you were like...5? How did you have time for TV? And were you even allowed to watch TV? Wasn't your dad some kind of demanding vicarious a-hole bent on you bringing glory to the clan name? )**_

_(Seven. I was seven when I became a genin. And, yes, he was, but I_ always_ found time for Scooby. I'll admit, it was tricky, what with dear old daddy locking me in the basement until I mastered a new jutsu, the assassinations, catering to my mother, girlfriend, and little brother, disposing of evidence, and working as a double agent between my clan (which was plotting to overthrow the government) and the government. ^|_|^ )_

_**( **_**O.e' **_**.........let's......just.......get back to the story......)**_

~o0o~

While the Konoha group was busy separating on one part of the island, the Suna group was just discovering their predicament on another.

Having spent the last three hours falling through the oven, the strange dimension Temari and Kankuro were stuck in finally opened to the island.

"AaAAaAAAaAAAAA-OOMPH!" Temari, the graceful Kunoichi, landed on her feet. Kankuro, unfortunately, was under those feet.

"SAND! OH, SAND! SWEET, GLORIOUS SAND, HOW I'VE MISSED YOU...!" Kankuro grabbed fistfuls of the ground beneath him and tossed them into the air, cackling madly as the sand rained down on his head. He kissed the beach between handfuls.

Temari cautiously stepped off her brother's back and turned to her other brother who was standing a few feet away, gazing out across the ocean.

"Eh, Gaara? You're here too? What's going on? Where are we?"

"We're on a beach." He continued to dramatically stare into the distance.

She rolled her eyes. "Well, duh, I can _see_ that..... but do you know which beach? Or how the hell we got here?"

"We got here through the oven, 'Mari." Kankuro said simply. He was done making-out with the ground and was now sitting upright, piling the sand between his legs.

Gaara gave the slightest shrug. "I don't know. Sand is sand." He commanded some sand from the beach into his hand and let it run through his fingers. And as for how we got here...I don't know either, or care. And, I _have_ been needing a vacation, so..."

Days like this made Temari regret being the only normal one in her family. She scrunched her forehead and pinched the bridge of her nose, thinking things through.

_Not in any apparent danger... Not going to get out of here anytime soon... Not with anyone who can help me find a way out of here..._

"Kankuro," Gaara said suddenly, turning his head towards his brother and raising his brow. "Is that a_...sandcastle_ you're building?"

_Not able to....wait. Did Gaara just raise an _eyebrow_? _Temari raised an eyebrow of her own. _When did he..._

"Yes..." Kankuro said warily, who apparently didn't register Gaara's new facial hair. "What of it?"

Gaara approached his brother and crouched down to look him in the eye. "Really, now? You're calling that little lump a sandcastle?" Gaara _tsk_ed and gave his adorable little barely-there smile.

Well, it was adorable to anyone who wasn't a sibling of Gaara. It still kind of freaked them out, seeing as how for so many years any smile of Gaara's was followed by a mass murder spree.

And it was that little smile that finally overloaded the "what-the-hell" meter in Temari's brain. This was a defense mechanism in place to prevent her from going insane. Again, being a sibling of Gaara's could be quite stressful, so when her brain was about to melt from too much craziness going on, the meter would shut off her concern.

"Eh. What the hell? A vacation _does_ sound nice..." She unfolded her fan and jammed it in the ground at an angle, ripped off her clothes (she was wearing a bikini? O.O ) and reclined on her favorite weapon-turned-beach-chair.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! GAAAAARRRAAAA!!!!! CUT IT OOOOUUUUUT!!!!!" Further down the beach, Kankuro was running from a giant tidal wave of sand, with Gaara riding on its crest.

"Oh, brother, you know so little about sand. _I_ will show you a sandcastle..." Half the beach exploded into the air.

Temari watched her brothers from the corner of her eye and chuckled. "Oh, those two..." She put on some shades (standard equipment for any good Suna nin) and crossed her arms behind her head, quickly falling into a sun-induced half-sleep.

~o0o~

**Wait..... I just realized something......**

What?

**Earlier..... when you were talking about your horrible childhood...**

It wasn't that bad...

**Whatever. Anyway, you said something about.... a girlfriend?**

No I didn't.

**Yes! Yes you did!**

I never had a girlfriend.

**But you just said you did!**

I never said any such thing.

**Wanna bet? (*scrolls back to 17th paragraph*)**

........Damn.

**So who was she?**

I hold the right to not disclose that particular piece of information...

_**You**_** mentioned it first... now spill**.

I refuse.

**Was she in ANBU?**

Oh, hey! Look, another Leaf nin i'm supposed to capture!

**You're avoiding the-**

_(Bye!)_

**Grrr...... you just wait, weasel boy.... I **_**will**_** find out....**


End file.
